Proud

SO I am very proud of myself today. I know that is a weird thing to say, but I honestly am proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and come to Rwanda. Think about it this way-- my first trip out of the United States was to central Africa... kinda a random place to go if you ask me. I didn't just tip-toe in.. I dove right in. I have thus far visited Rwanda, Uganda, and Burundi. All by bus. That is pretty impressive if you ask me. Another reason I am really proud of myself is because I have had a pretty hard life thus far. While most people in my situation, that I have known, have just resorted to bad habits to overcome their pain, I have dwelt with it by making something of myself. This is a reason that I am so ready to be an example for other people in their lives. I want them to look at me and see what I've gone through and realize they can overcome their problems in the same respect that I did. I think that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. I see people in Rwanda all the time that have such a hard past and I am just amazed that they are even still alive. Granted, they might be traumatized but they are still alive and working for everything they have... harder than anyone I know in the US. These people walk up and down hills, with a tool in one hand, a baby on their back, and a bucket of water on their heads. I am just amazed. And we think we have it so hard. We really don't at all. I want to live my life showing people about the truth in Africa. Instead of this stigma that all Africans are predisposition ed to violence and savagery, I want them to see that there are so many sweet and nice Africans who work for everything they have and tend to not have ulterior motives. I can't speak for every African, and it has hard to generalize them into "all Africans" but from my experience they have proven to be some of the most amazing, sincere, and personable people I have ever met... especially Rwandans. I knew I loved Rwanda before I came to Rwanda (hence the reason I've been dying to come here) but now that I'm here I realize how amazing they are. Like I said, it is hard to generalize and say "Rwandans" because I don't know all Rwandans. I am sure that there are still some people that are just themselves and not nice people, but overall I now understand why people can sometimes stereotype Americans for the way that they are... meeting people of a different culture makes me realize how many self-centered people I encounter on a daily basis back in the US. Maybe it's just where I live, but really I wish that they could see that the materialistic things they worry about, and the need to always put themselves first, are pointless. I need to be the voice of reason to these people in some way. That is a big task, and not one I want to take on, but I want to make everyone understand that there are people out there who would trade lives with them any day and deal with their "minimal" problems. Here's the thing-- the way that I've gotten through my hard life is to just imagine that there is someone out there who has it worse than I do. It really grounds you if you take a step back and think about what you're getting upset or mad about. Like for example, not having the coolest clothes. Really, what does it matter? Are you afraid what others will think? How about change that mentality to thinking about people that don't even have clothes, or have hand me down clothes from people in another country. Or perhaps there isn't even a store to buy clothes, except in the capital city and it is too far for them to travel to. This is stuff that will never leave my mind for the rest of my life. I knew that leaving the US and coming to Africa would make me more appreciative and humble, which I already was for the most part because my life has been nothing but easy and I haven't been given everything, but I am surprised at how much more I appreciate life after being here. I have met some of the most amazing people and made friends that I will maintain for the rest of my life. I will treat people different when I go back to the US and never resist an urge to do something for someone else. What is life about really? Is it meant to be a means to get the best things? Or is it meant to be aimed at helping and doing service for others? The latter is the way I want to live my life...and it is exactly what I will aim to do until the day I die.